Glenn reviews two stories that make him question the state of today's young adults: McDonald's released Happy Meals for adults (complete with toys) and young couples are bragging about being "DINKs" (Double Income, No Kids). Maybe it's time for Gen Z to grow up, start a family, and get some common sense ...

Transcript

Below is a rush transcript that may contain errors

GLENN: Wow. So I'm sorry. I'm very distracted right now. Because Buddy the Elf brought in some chocolates.

And I can't open them.

I can't -- they're --

STU: I mean --

GLENN: Do you have to be old money to know how to open these things? Because they're fancy chocolates.

STU: They have the gold wrapper on them. So, yes.

GLENN: My gosh, you can't -- there. Now it's open.


STU: Wow. This is --

GLENN: I mean, there's only so much time to open a box of candy. If they make it impossible to open, they just pound it open.

STU: There are shards of sharp plastic, all over the studio now. But as you were taking that off, you saw clearly, a sticker type of thing that was wrapped around the outside. It was obviously how you opened that package.

You don't want to slam it against the desk, like an insane person.

GLENN: I wasn't insane.

That is a regular way, that when you wrap chocolate, like you -- like it's -- like an old CD. That's how you you open it.

Would you like some chocolate?

STU: I'm okay.

I'm afraid that I would be eating plastic shards, if I were to ingest any of this.

GLENN: Oh, my gosh.

STU: Now, how many times have you done it? That seems like it's not the first time you smashed a package of chocolates against the table to open it.

I mean, you really wanted some chocolate there.

GLENN: No. Less about the chocolate, more about the packaging.

STU: You're just --

GLENN: You don't get to the point to where you're opening something. And it's been so sealed, that there's no way any human could ever open it?

STU: Oh, I definitely got to that point before.

GLENN: Yeah. I can't take it.

STU: Not international radio.

Not on intermittent radio.

GLENN: Oh, well, I'm not ashamed of who I am.

STU: Maybe you should be.

You know, I feel like that's a lesson we've learned lately.

I just need to tell the world who I am. Maybe you shouldn't.

You know, Glenn, maybe the way you just acted should be closeted.

You know, I'm just saying.

GLENN: You're sitting there with a bottle of whisky. And you're telling me to behave myself.

You see what I just did to the chocolates.

You know how much I want that whisky right now?

STU: I will say, because I have some whiskey right here. And it's such a beautiful bottle, I didn't want to open it.

GLENN: It's not that beautiful. Let's open it.

STU: Glenn is looking at me, in a way that is disturbing.

I feel like a protective parent, and you're Jared from Subway. That's what I feel like.

GLENN: What is it? It's like 12-year-old whisky. So...

STU: It's a very wrong conversation. But I will say, I -- I like taunting you over alcohol. Because I think it's really funny.

GLENN: I just want to smell it. I love the smell of good whisky.

STU: That's what is making me freak out. You really want -- I'm putting this away.

GLENN: No, no, let's leave it up here.

STU: I'm not going to leave it up here for you.

GLENN: I will smash that thing open.

STU: Look, at the very end of your career, too I want this to end in some alcoholic binge that gets us all sorts of ratings?

GLENN: I don't want to drink it. I just want to smell it.

STU: It's just one sip.

It's just touching my lips. That's not drinking.

This is what happens, Sara, you know.

GLENN: Hang on a second. You okayed a whiskey -- knowing that whisky -- you okayed a whisky sponsorship on this program.

STU: It's good whisky.

GLENN: And come on, let's be serious.

Why did you take that whisky sponsorship?

Yes. It's good whisky.

STU: It's great.

GLENN: No. No.

STU: And I did know it would torture you. So it's a small part of it.

GLENN: Now it's sitting here. And you're like, oh, my gosh. I can't torture you. You see what I did to the box of candy? Open that bottle of whisky now.

STU: Those are glass shards if you break the bottle of whisky, Glenn.

GLENN: Again, I don't want to drink it. I just want to smell it. I love the smell of whisky.

STU: You also love the taste of whisky, that became a major problem for your life. .

GLENN: Not really. That wasn't the problem. It was, I love the effects of whisky.

STU: Which you remember well?

GLENN: Yes.

STU: That's the problem.

It's amazing to -- to --

GLENN: Okay. But let me ask you something: Which is a bigger problem.

Alcoholism. Or being somebody that is excited about this story, and you're an adult.

McDonald's is bringing its adult Happy Meals back into circulation.

Even containing six individual toy options, the chief of marketing and customer experience officer, references the success of last year's cactus plant flea market box, and notes that it was something that would be revisited because fans told us, they wanted to celebrate that quintessential childhood experience again.

STU: Hmm.

GLENN: So they're giving you the little Happy Meal, where the golden arches are the handle.

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: With the little toy in it.

That none of us had for more than five minutes. Because it was crap.

And which adult -- I want to talk to the adults that are like, you know what, I'm really happy. I can really -- relive that experience. And see what McDonald's has left for me.

As a toy.

As an adult, who gets a toy.

I don't know.

I think I would rather be an alcoholic.


STU: It's an interesting point.

You know, the worst part about the Happy Meal for adults.

They have full sized meals for adults.

That you can just have that are bigger and more of the stuff that you like. Unless you're going for some weird -- I'm going back into a cocoon of childhood.

GLENN: And, you know, with what Disney has done. When I heard adult toys in a Happy Meal box.

I -- I --

STU: I can picture some psychopath out of the McDonald's parking lot, smashing open a plastic box with adult toys inside it.

GLENN: Daddy, why is your box vibrating?

Shut up!

STU: I'm going to smash another bumper in the parking lot.

Do you think though, that this is a thing that is -- has made a real comeback?

I feel like there's a time. Maybe I'm just misremembering this. I feel like there's a time, where it would be embarrassing, to want to jump into all the childhood behaviors of your past.

GLENN: Yes.

Our grandparents would have slapped us across the face.

STU: That's kind of how I would picture it, right?

GLENN: Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

STU: It seems like now.

I don't know. This is offensive to some.

Maybe. But the dish -- the real passion for Disney World and Disneyland for adults, is interesting to me.

Like, it's a great place.

I get it. And I know that right now --

GLENN: No. First of all, it's the spawn of Satan. So you can't --

STU: I noticed that. But I know a lot of people, even conservatives. Who still go back there.

As adults, you know, a lot.

Like multiple times a year.

GLENN: That is because -- wait a minute. Because that brings back innocence.

It brings back.

STU: A Happy Meal brings back innocence.

GLENN: It brings back crap, that you had -- you gave --

STU: Don't besmirch McDonald's. Rob --

GLENN: Has he -- how big of a house does that fat clown need? He's always raising money.

Hey, finish my house.

Finish my house.

Enough, okay?

You gave that box. That happy meal. Because it kept your kids quiet. So it didn't drink during the day.

STU: I don't know if your experience is exactly the same as everyone else's experience. Mister please open that whisky bottle so I can smell it.

GLENN: I'm just -- I'm just saying.

STU: But do you find that -- is it something where the world has become so dark? That they're looking for --

GLENN: I. No. No.

Nobody is growing up. When I was 18 years old, maybe 17.

I remember coming back home from school. And -- and I had a bowl of cereal. And I'm sitting on my couch. And I'm just watching TV.

And there's nothing on. It's like soap opera time of day. There's nothing on.

STU: Sure.

GLENN: So I keep flipping around. And the best thing that was on, believe it or not, was Mr. Rogers.

STU: Okay.

GLENN: Now, my dad happened to come home early that day. And I'll never forget, he came up the stairs. You know, we had those split level houses.

And he came up the stairs, and he came up the stairs. And he came around. And he's like, hey. And he saw me eating cereal on the couch, watching TV, which he was disgusted by already. He was like, do something with your life.

STU: Do something with your life.

GLENN: So he came. And I'll never forget. He walked past the TV. And then he turned around to see it, because Mr. Rogers had the little puppets with the king and the kingdom.

He looked at it. And he looked at me.

And he looked back at the TV. He watched it for about 40 seconds. Then he looked back at me and said, what the hell is wrong with you?

I think that should be said to every adult who is excited about the Happy Meal. You need a parent or a grandparent, that would -- that is in your life, that will just say you to, what the hell is wrong with you?

STU: Okay. I could see that. I could see -- there's -- I feel like that was the approach back in the day.

GLENN: No. That's the approach that should be today.

I'm very excited. What are you going to say? I'm very excited to celebrate this -- this quintessential childhood memory.

Out of all the memories we had, as a family, you pick the crappy 2-cent toy?

STU: There's some anti McDonald thing going on with you.

GLENN: I love McDonald's? I love McDonald's.

STU: No. You? What?
(laughter)
No.

GLENN: You are...

STU: No. I mean, but I do feel like there's this anti you've been bashing them a lot lately. I don't like it. I don't like it. I get defensive.

GLENN: You know why? Because they reduced the size of the Filet-O-Fish.

STU: Well, that makes sense. This all tracks now.

GLENN: Yeah.

It's like they're becoming like Dunkin minis. You know what I mean?

Where I got to eat two of them, to equal one.

STU: Right.

GLENN: And I'm pissed because, yes, I am fat. But I feel fatter, if I have to order two of them.

Then you're just like, then you're just like, oh, my gosh.

You know, you order minis by the box. Okay?

You don't say, I need 36 doughnut holes.

You say I want a box of minis, please.

STU: The world needs your knowledge and wisdom on these topics. It really does.

Are you familiar with the term DINK?

Are you familiar with the term DINK?

GLENN: No. But I'm relating it to you, right now.

STU: All right. That's fine.

It means dual income, no kids.

GLENN: Uh-huh.

STU: So we had a video, we were showing yesterday. We watched it on The News and Why It Matters. These two people talking about what it means, because they're DINKs. And they're bragging about it. And one of the -- the fat guy who is -- there's a very small woman, and very large man in the video. I don't know -- oh, we have the video? Here's the video.

VOICE: We're DINKs. We're going to get asked daily when we're planning on having kids.

VOICE: We're DINKs. Of course we're going to go out to eat every night after work.

VOICE: We're DINKs, we don't have to ask our family for financial help or to watch our kids when we want to go out.

VOICE: We're DINKs. We're going to go to Costco and buy all the snacks in bulk that we want.

GLENN: Okay. Okay. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Okay. Let me tell you why they're DINKs. She's beautiful, he's a fat Gila monster. There's no way she's going to have sex with him. So there's no children in their future.

STU: Right. That's why they're DINKs? She's happy with his income.

GLENN: She's like, I am so -- leave your clothes on. Turn the lights on. Leave all the clothes on.

STU: Really. I had not thought about that. She has brilliantly convinced him there's some new ideology between a dual income and no kids.

GLENN: Yes. Yeah. When they first got married, he was probably okay.

STU: Right.

GLENN: Then he just let himself go. And she's like, I can't have sex with him.

STU: What if we create a whole new thing?

Actually I'm morally --

GLENN: DINKs.

STU: Yeah, we love being DINKs. It's a way better way to live.

GLENN: Let's go eat.

STU: I love that.

I have a huge problem, with these points. Largely because, the big fat guy doesn't understand that children, largely. The biggest part of the role of children is to get you access to more snacks.

It's the best snack highway you're ever going to find.

Do you know how many kinds of mac and cheese I've had over the past ten years? It's incredible!

GLENN: The world needs your knowledge. See. This guy is not only fat, he's stupid. He's stupid too.