Congressman Hank Johnson worries that 8,000 US troops could cause Guam to tip over... |
GLENN: That's an interesting now, now let's go to somebody really stupid. And I know the media immediately says, "Oh, they are going to talk about Sarah Palin because she's just the dumbest politician ever to walk God's green Earth which God, of course, had nothing to do with because God doesn't exist." I'm just thinking like the media. Unfortunately for the media, this is not Sarah Palin. This instead is audio of Congressman
PAT: Hank Johnson.
GLENN: Hank Johnson. Where is Hank from Illinois?
PAT: You know
GLENN: Look up Congressman Hank Johnson. I don't know where Hank is from, but he's a light bulb.
STU: Fourth district of Georgia.
PAT: Georgia.
GLENN: Of Georgia, okay. So here's Democratic Congressman Hank Johnson speaking at a press conference.
PAT: Looks to be like some sort of hearing involving a general who's sending 8,000 keep in mind they are trying to send 8,000 Marines to Guam to shore things up there.
GLENN: All right. And here's what happens.
PAT: Here's what happens.
VOICE: I don't have the exact dimensions but to your point, Guam is a small island.
VOICE: Very small island and about 24 miles, if I recall, long. So 24 miles long, about seven miles wide at the least widest place on the island and about 20 about 12 miles wide on the widest part of the island, and
GLENN: Okay, stop for just a second.
PAT: It's small.
GLENN: He's trying to make a point that this is a small island.
PAT: Small island.
GLENN: 8,000 Marines to Guam.
PAT: Right.
GLENN: And I think what the congressman is trying to get to here is it's a small island.
PAT: Small.
GLENN: Now, maybe he's worried about overcrowding. No. Listen.
CONGRESSMAN HANK JOHNSON: Square miles, that is, do you happen to know?
VOICE: I don't have that figure with me, sir. I can certainly supply it to you if you'd like.
CONGRESSMAN HANK JOHNSON: Yeah, my fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.
VOICE: We don't anticipate that. The Guam population I think currently about 175,000 and again with 8,000 Marines and their families, that's an addition of about 25,000 more into the population.
PAT: We don't, we don't anticipate it capsizing.
GLENN: I'm so would you play that? We have to take a break. Can we come back and play the part where he says, "I'm worried that it might tip over and capsize."
PAT: Capsize. Well, how many times have we seen that happen on small islands when you get too many people? I mean
GLENN: Never.
PAT: How many times? You've never seen that?
GLENN: How is this not a lead story everywhere? These are the people that we expected to fix healthcare.
PAT: Yeah.
GLENN: He's worried about and listen to the deference. I couldn't be a general. Listen to the deference. The general should have said
PAT: Very respectful.
GLENN: "What the hell is wrong with you?" "No, we don't anticipate that as a problem."
STU: (Laughing).
GLENN: You want to know why our government is broken? Because you have to say to a dope like that, "No, we haven't really... no, we're not anticipating that as being a real problem." Instead of saying, "Can we get somebody in here to answer to ask real questions here? Because..."
PAT: Yeah.
STU: Well, you know, there was a long time in our history that, you know, people believed the Earth was flat. Do we know that islands aren't floating and they capsize because of overpopulation? Has anyone ever confirm that?
GLENN: No, we haven't.
STU: It could happen.
GLENN: You are right. You're right.
STU: And this guy's just trying to be open minded scientifically.
GLENN: That's exactly, that's exactly right.
PAT: Well, Guam is small.
STU: It's small.
PAT: It's small.
STU: He illustrated that in his comments.
PAT: Like 24 miles wide.
GLENN: Hank, I want you to I want you seriously I want to thank you for thinking of the things that no one else has ever thought of.
STU: (Laughing).
PAT: (Laughing).
GLENN: I mean, what is it, what is it that Jon Stewart said of me, that I'm finally a thinking man, the guy who's thinking what was it, was the quote on one of our books?
STU: Finally a guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.
GLENN: Yeah. That's weird because I've never thought that an island would capsize if you if we were going to send 8,000 Marines. How did this guy get into office?
PAT: That's a really good question.
STU: He was running on the floating island platform.
GLENN: Can you find out about
PAT: (Laughing).
GLENN: Can you find out a little something about him? Can you what do you have on him? I've never even heard of this guy.
STU: He does have a response to this, by the way.
GLENN: Oh, good.
STU: This has gone viral and it's unbelievable that something like this would go viral when he was so obviously joking. Listen to the humor.
PAT: Oh, he was joking?
STU: Listen to the humor in there.
GLENN: You have got to be kidding me!
PAT: Wow.
GLENN: You have got to be kidding. Hang on, hang on, hang on.
STU: He was just so smart and funny!