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How infertility gave me the gift of compassion about abortion

March 29, 2019
jencu/Flickr
Jon Boldt

Writer

I never thought I'd have any compassion or understanding for someone who has had an abortion.

The thought of killing a developing baby so offended everything in me, it was virtually impossible to imagine a scenario where I could ever get past it — especially the longer our battle with infertility dragged on. Wherever I go, I always seem to make friends with the atheists, the liberals and the outsiders, but I've never made room for those who fight on the side of abortion.

My wife Jennie and I have found a way to have joy and love despite the baby-shaped hole in our hearts, but we really do feel empty inside at times. And seeing that empty look in my loving wife's eyes was almost too much to bear. I've dealt with physical pain my whole life and I can handle a lot. What forced me to me knees day after day and night after night, however, was seeing my beautiful wife try to be strong for me.

Who doesn't love a good concert?Photo credit: Jon Boldt

I know we don't get everything we want in life, but the 14-year rollercoaster of infertility has been gut-wrenchingly painful, and not something I would wish on my worst enemy. Jennie is my best friend, and while I know the fires of life we have endured have forged a bond that will never be broken, it doesn't make it any easier — and man, do those fires get hot!

Some little boys dream of being an astronaut, some an athlete. Not me. All I ever wanted to be was a dad. Whether it was how to throw a baseball, how to cook the perfect steak or how to drive, I dreamt of the day I would be the one passing knowledge on to a little boy of my own.

I am the oldest of seven and I have three sisters, and the way they looked at my dad made me want to have a little girl of my own — I couldn't wait to be wrapped around her little finger. Just thinking of that now brings a tear to my eye and has me more determined than ever to not give up.

RELATED: The slippery slope of abortion just fell off a cliff

We just spent the last year consulting with more fertility specialists and trying different treatments, and ultimately, IVF. We found out a few weeks ago that our embryo that was created and transferred did not take, and the pregnancy never even got off the ground.

We had been so hopeful and thought for sure this was the time it would work. Needless to say, we were crushed. I tried to pick up the pieces as quickly as possible so I could be there for her, and I did, but it wasn't easy. Now we are facing what could be our final shot (unless we win the Powerball or something).

This is the moment we thought all our dreams came true.Photo credit: Jon Boldt

Throughout this process, I can't help but think of all the unwanted pregnancies versus how many people are struggling with infertility. It really started to upset me thinking about all the drug addicts and teenagers who were, as Barack Obama said, "punished with a baby." I found myself becoming angry, bitter and resentful.

Just a quick glance at the numbers is enough to make your head explode.

In 2017, there were about 880,000 abortions. At any given time, about 10 percent of women between the ages of 15-44 struggle to conceive — that is 6.1 million in total. Think about that. There are enough women who want to have a baby but can't to adopt the number of aborted babies nearly 7 times over. The cost of adoption is a whole other can of worms I won't get into, but if we could reform adoption, we could all but eliminate the need for any abortions.

Over the past couple of months, I've lost count of the number of shots I've administered to my wife. First, it was the hormones to aid in the egg retrieval process, and then it was to help the embryo to implant and continue to grow. Over that period of time, I was excited and hopeful, yet the nagging feelings of resentment wouldn't pass.

You don't want to know how much money is in this picture!Photo credit: Jon Boldt

I knew the only way to get over these feelings was through prayer and the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, so I went to work. I didn't want to be angry anymore. I wanted to enjoy the process of getting pregnant, so I hit my knees. The thoughts came slowly at first, and one was something Glenn shared that might not seem like it correlates at first, but bear with me.

This is what he said:

Hate is not the opposite of love, apathy is.

Here's the meaning: hate and love operate based on the same emotions and engagement — but with different goals and outcomes. What kills love is not hate, it's apathy. And this inspired me to come up with a solution. I felt like I couldn't overcome this without putting together a path forward, and this quote hit me like a bolt of lightning.

We don't stand much of a chance on changing the minds of the militant left, and they don't stand much of a chance of changing the minds of pro-lifers. The battle lies in the mushy middle where apathy has a stranglehold. Apathy is the enemy to both pro-life and pro-choice advocates — whoever wins that battle wins the war.

So many people say they would never have an abortion, but they support someone else's right to choose. That's the group we need to connect with. The upcoming movie, Unplanned, is one way we can pierce their hearts and open their minds to see the evil abortion truly is. We must do this all without judgement in our hearts, and instead, act with love and compassion.

We need to separate the real people from the organizations: Planned Parenthood and the politicians who have pushed this agenda so far that we are now debating whether or not it's ok to kill a baby after it's born. I can't believe this is where we are. This agenda is pure evil and we must take a stand.

The deeper I've thought and prayed about this subject, the more I feel relieved of the burden to judge anyone for any reason.

It is beyond me to understand what's going through the mind of a teenage girl who thinks her life is over when she finds out she's pregnant. Likewise, the pain of a sexual assault is something I cannot begin to fathom, and compounding that with a pregnancy is a decision I have no room to judge. The deeper I've thought and prayed about this subject, the more I feel relieved of the burden to judge anyone for any reason. We will all be held to account for what we've made of the life granted to us by our Creator, but we are not meant to be the judge.

It's time to throw winning and losing out the window along with all the tactics that have failed completely. We cannot change hearts and minds if all we are trying to do is change the scoreboard. This issue is about people, love and compassion — and loving someone doesn't include keeping score.

I believe there are four ways we can change our behavior in order to achieve different results. But the key is making these a part of us, not a tool to get what we want. Here are the four behaviors :

FORGIVE: We must forgive those who have chosen to abort. It's not only the compassionate thing to do, it's what is required of us by our Savior, Jesus Christ. Plus, forgiveness always edifies and uplifts all parties, allowing reconciliation to happen.

LOVE: Find ways to show love to those who have already made this choice as well as those who are now facing this decision.

STRENGTHEN: Strengthen those who are in this situation and educate them on all the options available to them. So many times the choice seems to be either "ruin your life" or "abort." There are so many other options, and education is key.

STAND: Take a stand, and don't let the forces of darkness win. Refuse to give in, and help people shake the apathy from their slumbering eyes.

Politically, the focus needs to be on waking the sleeping masses, because the left and the abortion racket do not have the polls in their favor. By and large, people tolerate abortion to a certain point, but very few actually embrace the choice, and, in fact, a lot of those who have had abortions deeply regret it.

The trial my wife and I are facing isn't entirely unlike that of a woman who is facing an unplanned pregnancy. Both have options and choices, both involve the creation of another life and both have eternal consequences. Apathy would convince my wife and me to give up trying and enjoy a life of traveling, doing fun things and getting a good night's sleep. It also would convince the unintentionally pregnant woman that her choice doesn't really matter in the long run — it's just a clump of cells that she can get rid of and forget.

We must fight apathy with all we have in us, no matter the issue. Let's put down our cell phones and turn off Netflix once in a while, and live life.

We must fight apathy with all we have in us. Let's put down our cell phones and turn off Netflix once in a while, and live life. If we can combine being pro-life with pro-choices, meaning educate and give more options, I believe more will choose life.

This time around, we'll be transferring two frozen embryos and the doctor says the odds are good at least one will take — and it's 50/50 we'll end up with twins. Who knows? Maybe our dreams will come true this round. Or maybe we will continue to be our nieces' and nephews' favorite aunt and uncle while we explore other options.

No matter what happens, I know love and life are most important, and I will defend both with every ounce of strength God will grant me. I will gladly stand shoulder to shoulder with any and all who will join me.

Even if you've had an abortion.

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Is Trump repealing the 14th Amendment? Here's the truth.

NBC / Contributor | Getty Images

Did Trump really promise to put an end to the 14th Amendment, or is this just another mainstream spin?

This past weekend, President-elect Donald Trump sat down on NBC's "Meet the Press" for his first interview since the election. As one might expect, it was a particularly hostile interview, but Trump handled it with grace. The biggest takeaway from the interview was when the interviewer, Kristen Welker, pressed Trump on his immigration plans, specifically his plans to end birthright citizenship.

Despite Walker's claim that the 14th Amendment protected birthright citizenship, Trump defended his stance with the backing of legal scholars, who argue that birthright citizenship has to be granted within the proper "jurisdictional scope." As Glenn reiterated on his show this week, the 14th Amendment was enacted in the context of slavery "not illegal immigration. The 14th Amendment doesn't say, "Come over here, get into a hospital, have a baby, and congratulations, everybody is a citizen."

The media still pushed the narrative that Trump is trying to overstep the 14th Amendment.

But what is the truth? What is birthright citizenship, and what does the 14th Amendment actually say about it? Here is everything you need to know about the "birthright citizenship debacle" below:

The media outrage

NBC / Contributor | Getty Images

If you have glanced through any mainstream media articles, they would convince you that Trump will repeal the 14th Amendment altogether and catapult the country back 200 years before slavery was abolished when Congress passed the Constitutional Amendment. But how do these accusations stack up to reality?

What the 14th amendment actually says

NBC / Contributor | Getty Images

To get to the bottom of this, we have to understand what the 14th Amendment actually says and the context in which it was created.

During Trump's NBC interview, Welker "quoted" the 14th Amendment as "all persons born in the United States are citizens," but anyone who took a government class in high school can tell you that is wrong. The actual14th Amendment says:

"All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside."

Notice that Welker conveniently left out "subject to the jurisdiction thereof." This was no simple oversight.

First, let's define what birthright citizenship actually is and how it relates to the 14th Amendment. Birthright citizenship is an interpretation of the previously quoted section of the 14th Amendment: that by simply being born on U.S. soil, you are automatically granted U.S. citizenship. This has been the historic interpretation of the amendment. However, the border crisis has been incentivized by an abuse of birthright citizenship, which is colloquially called "anchor babies." This refers to when a pregnant woman crosses the border, gives birth, and is granted residency since her child is automatically given U.S. citizenship.

However, Trump says the clause "subject to the jurisdiction thereof" could enable the federal government to crack down on this abuse of birthright citizenship. If a person is here illegally, then they are not under the jurisdiction of the U.S., and therefore, their child would not be given automatic citizenship. This would not apply to legal immigrants who have secured citizenship, despite any claims to the contrary.

What Trump actually said

NBC / Contributor | Getty Images

When questioned about the constitutionality of ending birthright citizenship and the possibility of using executive orders to get around the 14th Amendment, Trump's first suggestion was to pose a potential amendment to the 14th Amendment as a national vote. When Welker pushed back, Trump stressed the importance of ending birthright citizenship and conceded that, if necessary, he would use an executive order.

As usual, the mainstream media has spun a mountain out of a molehill and blown the entire issue out of proportion. They have spun Trump's reasonable and legal proposition into a dictatorial decree that would send the country back 200 years.

Glenn's ULTIMATE Trump cabinet tracker

Anna Moneymaker / Staff | Getty Images

The Trump transition team is working overtime preparing to hit the ground running in January.

The President-elect has been busy hand-picking the members that will make up his cabinet, as these are the people who will be his closest advisors and most powerful bureaucrats during the next four years. Glenn recently got a panel together to discuss Trump's picks, and one thing was clear: Trump has some serious star power on his side. But unfortunately, becoming a member of the presidential cabinet is not as simple as being picked by the POTUS. The Senate still needs to sign off on every pick.

To keep track of this chaotic confirmation process, we have created the ULTIMATE confirmation tracker for the 15 positions in Trump's cabinet. So make sure to check back regularly to keep updated on the latest developments in Trump's inner circle:

Secretary of Agriculture

Tom Williams / Contributor | Getty Images

Trump's pick for Secretary of Agriculture is Brooke Rollins, a former White House aide and Texas A&M graduate. If confirmed, Rollins would lead the Department of Agriculture, which is tasked with serving the needs of America's farmers and ranchers, promoting agricultural trade, and protecting forests and other natural resources.

Rollins served as Trump's director of the Domestic Policy Council during his first term and has received much praise from the president-elect. Rollins says she can tackle the many issues plaguing the agricultural sector, touting her small-town, Texas agriculture roots.

Secretary of Commerce

ANGELA WEISS / Contributor | Getty Images


Trump tapped Howard Lutnick, the CEO of Cantor Fitzgerald as his pick for Secretary of Commerce, which would head the Department of Commerce responsible for aiding the creation of economic growth and opportunity conditions. Lutnick narrowly beat Linda McMahon and Robert Lighthizer, the other likely candidates for the job. Lutnick, who has served as the co-chair of Trump’s presidential transition team since August, will be responsible for spearheading Trump's tariff agenda, which has drummed up much hype and speculation over the last several weeks.

Secretary of Defense

John Lamparski / Contributor | Getty Images

Pete Hegseth's nomination to head the Department of Defense Army has caused a flurry among Pentagon officials and Congressmembers alike. A former National Guard major and Fox News host, Hegseth has drawn praise from some on the right over his plans to "de-wokeify" the military. Others question if he has the command experience to take charge of the world's most powerful military. These concerns, along with allegations relating to his personal life, leave many questioning whether Hegsteh has enough support to be confirmed.

Secretary of Education

Bloomberg / Contributor | Getty Images

Trump named Linda McMahon, the co-chair of his transition team and former World Wrestling Entertainment executive, as his Secretary of Education. McMahon served as Trump's Small Business Administration administrator during his first term and is currently the board chair of the America First Policy Institute, which has been described as a "White House in Waiting." McMahon would be tasked with overseeing Trump's campaign promise to significantly downsize the Department of Education and return many of its powers to the states.

Secretary of Energy

Andy Cross / Contributor | Getty Images

Trump picked Chris Wright, an oil and gas CEO, as his Secretary of Energy. Wright is an advocate for fossil fuels, having founded Liberty Energy, an oilfield service firm in Denver, Colorado. Wright is opposed to the global warming alarmists and views fossil fuels as a means of providing cheap, reliable energy that can raise people from poverty.

Secretary of Health and Human Services

Michael M. Santiago / Staff | Getty Images

The Department of Health and Human Services is in charge of protecting the health of Americans, a task that spans from food safety to disease outbreaks. Organizations that fall under the HHS's umbrella include the NIH, FDA, and CDC.

Trump has tapped RKF Jr. to be his Secretary of Health and Human Services. Kennedy Jr. has infused Trump's entire campaign with a raised awareness of the failing health of many Americans and the systemic incompetency of the federal agencies tasked with protecting them. RFK Jr. has made it his mission to "Make America Healthy Again," a task that requires a fundamental shake-up of American food and medicine. This sort of approach has left many skeptics concerned that Kennedy Jr. will go too far too fast, leaving many to question if he has the support to be confirmed by the Senate.

Secretary of Homeland Security

JIM WATSON / Contributor | Getty Images

Trump tapped South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem to be his Secretary of Homeland Security. Noem has been a strong advocate for a secure border, which seems to be her primary area of concern. Along with Trump's new "Border Czar," Tom Homan, Noem is expected to come down hard on the southern border. The Department of Homeland Security has a broad assignment that includes protecting Americans and critical American infrastructure from foreign and domestic threats, protecting our borders, responding to natural disasters, and more.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

Chip Somodevilla / Staff | Getty Images

Trump picked former NFL player turned politician Scott Turner as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, an office responsible for policies and programs that address housing needs, promote community development, and enforce housing laws. Turner worked under Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter before being elected to the Texas House in 2013, and he also ran Trump's White House Opportunity and Revitalization Council during his first term.

Secretary of the Interior

Steven Ferdman / Contributor | Getty Images

Trump's pick for the Secretary of the Interior is North Dakota Governor, Doug Burgum. The Department of the Interior is America's primary conservation agency, protecting America's natural resources and managing the National Parks. Gov. Burgum has tremendous experience managing North Dakota's oil-rich reserves and Native American populations, both key aspects of The Department of the Interior. Burgam is also known for his harsh criticism of federal oversight and is expected to aid Trump in slashing regulations.

Attorney General

Andrew Harnik / Staff | Getty Images


Trump tapped Pam Bondi to lead his Department of Justice as the Attorney General of the United States. This comes after his first pick, Matt Gaetz, withdrew his name after facing an upstream confirmation battle due to a flurry of allegations. Bondi has a long track record as a prosecutor and a former attorney general in Florida and worked with Trump's team of defense lawyers fighting back against the impeachment charges levied against him. As Attorney General, if confirmed, Boni will play a key role in Trump's campaign promise to crack down on systemic corruption in the federal bureaucracy.

Secretary of Labor

Bill Clark / Contributor | Getty Images


Trump named Republican Representative Lori Chavez-DeRemer as his Secretary of Labor. Despite being a Republican, Chaves-DeRemer's pro-union stance has many conservatives on high alert. If confirmed, Chavez-DeRemer will oversee federal programs aimed at protecting and bolstering the American workforce.

Secretary of State

Chip Somodevilla / Staff | Getty Images

Trump picked Florida Senator Marco Rubio as his Secretary of State. Rubio, who famously ran against Trump in the 2016 Republican primaries, has been a longtime spokesperson about the threats posed by foreign adversaries, predominantly China.

Secretary of Transportation

Mark Wilson / Staff | Getty Images

Trump named former Wisconsin representative Sean Duffy as his next Secretary of Transportation. Both Rep. Duffy and his wife Rachel Campos-Duffy are hosts on Fox. A staunch pro-Trump advocate, Duffy will take over the Department of Transportation in the aftermath of Pete Buttiegeg's biggest failures during his term, such as his response—or lack thereof—to the East Palestine train derailment, in-flight incidents on Boeing aircraft, and much more. Moreover, traffic deaths and accidents are high, and the introduction of new technologies like self-driving cars and the increase of electric vehicles poses never-before-seen challenges Duffy will have to tackle.

Secretary of the Treasury

DOMINIC GWINN / Contributor | Getty Images

Trump tapped billionaire Scott Bessent to be his Secretary of the Treasury. Scott will face tremendous challenges coming into office, as he will oversee the massive tax cuts promised by Trump and his team. He will also advise the president on how to implement the tariffs against Canada, Mexico, and China that Trump has promised in recent weeks.

Secretary of Veterans Affairs

Alex Wong / Staff | Getty Images

Former congressman Doug Collins was tapped to lead Trump's Department of Veterans Affairs, which is responsible for taking care of our veterans and their families. This includes offering benefits such as pensions, education, disability compensation, loans, and much more. Collins is a veteran himself who served in Iraq and is still an Air Force Reserve chaplain, which gives him valuable insight into the needs of veterans.

Trump's TOP FIVE accomplishments BEFORE taking office

Win McNamee / Staff | Getty Images

Donald Trump hasn't even begun his second term, and he is already making major moves that eclipse the Biden administration. Here are Trump's top FIVE most impressive feats that he has achieved before taking office:

Stock market surge

Roberto Machado Noa / Contributor | Getty Images

Immediately after the election, all major indexes skyrocketed. Trump's election bolstered confidence in the long-term stability of the U.S. economy. Just a few days after November 5th, Glenn had financial expert Carol Roth on his show to discuss what this actually means for America, and long story short, the forecast was very optimistic. America has another chance at a golden era, especially for small businesses.

Bitcoin boom

Bitcoin experienced its own surge in the immediate aftermath of Trump's re-election, breaching the $100,000 valuation for the first time in the digital currency's history and doubling in value from the beginning of the year. The rise is attributed to Trump's favorable stance towards cryptocurrencies and strong opposition to the idea of a "Fed Coin," a cryptocurrency made by the Federal Reserve. This ensures people can purchase Bitcoin and other cryptos without the government swooping in and shutting it down.

Media comes to heel

Paula Lobo / Contributor | Getty Images

In a shocking twist of events, even some of the mainstream media pivoted, agreeing to meet with President Trump and making future plans for cooperation with the President.

Just a few weeks after Trump's historic victory, Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski, the hosts of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” made a trip to Mar-a-Lago to make peace with the president-elect. This comes after years of the duo bashing Trump as a dictator and a fascist.

Naturally, the dramatic shift was met with whiplash from "Morning Joe's" viewer base, and the couple lost half of their audience within a week. Either Scarborough and Brzezinski were lying about Trump, or they decided to bend the knee to "literally Hitler." Either way, their credibility pretty much went out the window.

Dealings with Trudeau

ANDREJ IVANOV / Contributor | Getty Images

Last week, Trump announced that he would impose a massive 25 percent tariff on all goods from Canada and Mexico unless they agree to crack down on their contribution to the migrant and fentanyl crisis plaguing the U.S. This grabbed the attention of Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau, as 75 percent of Canadian exports go to the U.S. Trudeau made an unplanned visit to Mar-a-Lago to discuss this proposed tariff. Later Trudeau commented that he had "an excellent conversation" with Trump.

Defeated phony charges

Jeff J Mitchell / Staff | Getty Images

After his re-election, all of the federal criminal charges remaining against Trump were dropped, concluding the years of assault from the Biden Department of Justice. This is due to the Department of Justice's longstanding precedent of not prosecuting a sitting president.

The LIES Joe Biden, the White House, and the media made about Hunter's pardon will disgust you

Tom Williams / Contributor | Getty Images

President Joe Biden gave his son, Hunter, a sweeping presidential pardon that erased the past ten years of his criminal record.

Despite President Biden's repeated promise that he would not pardon his son, Glenn saw right through the charade. Glenn predicted Biden had always intended to pardon Hunter, waiting until after the election to avoid damaging Harris's presidential campaign despite White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre and the entire corporate media establishment reiterating Biden's insistence that he would not pardon his son.

Here are three glaring examples of Biden and the media lying about the president's intentions to pardon Hunter:

President Biden claims he "ruled out" the possibility of pardoning Hunter. 

@independent Joe Biden has issued a pardon for his son Hunter following his conviction on federal gun charges, despite previously claiming he would not do so. The president officially announced the decision on Sunday (1 December) saying that his son had been “selectively, and unfairly, prosecuted” by the Justice Department. In a statement, he said he hoped the American people would understand his decision as a father. The sudden announcement was a full reversal of the stance he took six months ago when he announced publicly he would not pardon Hunter, should he be convicted. #hunter #biden ♬ original sound - Independent

This video shows several times in which Biden publically insisted that he would not pardon Hunter. This elite hypocrisy has become indicative of the Biden administration and the fuel behind Trump's overwhelming victory in November.

Biden owes KJP an apology.

Nobody has more egg on their face after this debacle than White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. As this video demonstrates, KJP repeated Biden's promise not to pardon his son. When Biden went back on his word, she had to scramble to provide some semblance of a defense for his decision.

The corporate media coverup.

The mainstream media belittled anyone who suggested that Biden would pardon Hunter. Now, these clips are a perfect example of the mainstream media's complicity of promoting whatever contradictory narrative emerges from the White House.