DOC: I was visited once by the Secret Service as well. I think Glenn has told his story about them showing up here. I recognize that they have to at this point investigate all threats. But what is a threat? Would you see this Kathy Griffin one as a threat?
KRIS: Oh, no. I wouldn't. I would be a really bad Secret Service agent. I'd be like, come on, guys, it's an attempt at art. Not funny. Inappropriate.
KRIS: It's an attempt at comedy. I see it more as comedy. She calls herself a comedian. I see it as an attempt at comedy, then art.
DOC: Okay.
BRAD: It's just a bad decision all the way around.
DOC: There's that as well. So years ago I was working in Richmond, Virginia, doing afternoons at WRVA. And love Richmond, loved being there. It was awesome. But I had only been working there about three or four months doing the afternoon program. And that would have been at the end of the George W. Bush administration. So this would have been the fall of 2017. We were -- or, excuse me. 2007. Yeah, fall of 2007. 2008 was, of course, the election in November.
So just started there a couple months or so on the air. And I got a really bad cold. And I didn't have any vacation time. I didn't have any days I could use at this point. So I go to the doctor. And I'm loaded up on medication. It's a real struggle. I can barely speak. My head -- just can't put the words together. Kind of like now.
And I'm just struggling, struggling. I have no energy. So I'm on antibiotics and a couple of different -- like looseners and sinuses. And things to get it -- it was horrible. So I'm just trying to get energy. So I drink a cup of coffee. And I'm like, okay. Just focus, man. Focus. And I'm just starting to get a little steam going. What got me going, I was really ticked off at something that George W. Bush had done. Imagine that.
KRIS: Which is normal for you.
DOC: Which is normal, because he grew government almost as much as Obama did. And I'm really getting heated. And it's finally clicking. And my thoughts are clearer. I'm concentrating. And then I go into my commercial break. And then it was like, did I kind of say something wrong there? This is how foggy my head was. Was there something inappropriate? I said to my producer. Clifford. I said, hey, did I say something edgy or wrong? He said no. He listens about as much as Kal. Our producer on the morning Blaze. And I said, okay. Well, great. Either he didn't hear it or he didn't think it was wrong. The next day, about an hour before I go on the air, the boss comes walking by, he goes, hey, got a minute? I said, yeah. He said, good. Walk up front. Secret Service is here.
(laughter)
I was like, what? Secret Service? They're like, yeah, we got reports. You said something on the air. Or whatever. And I'm like, what the heck did I say? So I'm like, was that yesterday? We go back and get the tape. In my fogginess, being really ticked off, I said the guy ought to be shot. But, you know, how you're like, somebody ought to slap that --
KRIS: Why couldn't you say that?
DOC: Why do you mean why did I say it? It was a mistake. I screwed up. And also I'm an idiot.
No, I know you can't say it. But it's like one of those things you just say off the cuff. And, again, I wouldn't have said, knowing you're on the air and talking about the president or whatever. But it was this fogginess.
So the Secret Service agent goes, all right. Well, we have to investigate it. And I'm like, all right. I'm watching the clock. And it's like, okay. Forty-five minutes I'm on the hour. Half-hour I'm on the hair. We're waiting. Listen to the tape. He's like, all right. Well, it doesn't seem -- it doesn't seem all that egregious. We think we know where you're coming from on there. I was like, okay. Twenty minutes before I go on the air. He's like, all right -- normally, there's -- and I don't know if he was joking or threw out a random number. He goes, normally, there's 53 questions we have to ask you. Or -- it was like --
BRAD: Not 51. Not 54.
DOC: Right. It was around 50. But it was not an even number. It was like 47, 53, 61. It was something like this. And I was like, okay. I've got 15 minutes left. He goes, but it doesn't seem that bad. So we'll just make this quick and do the short version. Two questions.
Okay. I hope there's not a slide rule. I was told there would be no math.
He goes, number one, first of all, let me just -- first of all, hang on a second. This is Jeffy on the show. First of all, see, I find it difficult to bite my tongue quite often.
KRIS: Yeah, you're a jerk.
DOC: I'm a jerk. It's like, who framed Roger rabbit? Shave and a hair cut. I cannot go to the punch line if you're setting me up. So he goes, what would you do if George W. Bush walked into the room right now? Oh. So many answers about the TSA. So many responses about creating a whole new department of government and supporting illegal immigration and overspending like crazy. So many failed -- and I was like, "Shave and a hair cut -- I'd probably ask to interview him." He's like. All right. Good answer. Second question: Do you harbor any ill will against the president? Oh.
Do you mean about the way he screwed up -- just started going off in my head. And I'm going, don't go to prison today, Doc. Don't go to prison. This is a bad career move. Even Kathy Griffin knows this. Bad career move. You're soft and spongy. You won't do well in cell block two. Not good.
So I go, no, I don't. Secretly, I really did harbor professional ill will toward him, just not personal ill will. But I don't think they would have gotten that nuanced answer.
BRAD: So you lied to the Secret Service?
DOC: Basically, yeah. I didn't clarify, yes. No professional or personal ill, just professional. I didn't want him to be president anymore because he did a poor job. He wasn't conservative or Libertarian. So he goes, all right. Fine.
And then on the way out, the other guy -- agent was like, really sorry we had to do this or whatever. By the way, we got to keep this tape. I was like, okay.
KRIS: So you have a file?
DOC: Right. But for threatening Bush, not Obama.
KRIS: So that's good. You have a cover.
DOC: Can you imagine if I had been the one in Obama --
KRIS: I don't think we'd be talking to you right now.
DOC: And that's my plausibility about hating for Obama for eight years. It wasn't him that I threatened to kill.
KRIS: Right. Oh, so you get a pass?
DOC: It was Bush, according to some people.
BRAD: You didn't even threaten to kill him. You said somebody else should shoot him.
DOC: Right. But here's the thing about it, somebody heard that in the audience and said, I've got to call this one in. You know that's a rant and an off-the-cuff remark. Did that person really think I was advocating this?
BRAD: Was your ex-wife in the listening audience?
DOC: No, I don't think she was. Yeah, I got him now. I got him right now. I got him right here on tape.
I think it was more likely -- remember, conservative radio station. Right? With probably primarily Republican listeners and me being honest about George W. Bush. They probably didn't take kindly to that.
KRIS: You ticked them off?
DOC: I think that's probably what happened. How dare you say something like that. Because I like this guy, not holding him accountable for all of his failures. Remember, it wasn't until way late in his second term that people started wising up and speaking the truth. I mean, Glenn had for most of the run. He was -- he gave him his due back and forth. I did and always felt kind of, you know, off from a lot of the conservative talk show hosts. Because they just carried water for him. A lot of them, just, oh, defend. Defend. Defend. And we're not willing to say what he did wrong. So it was like that last year and half where people started -- wait a minute. Yeah, where were you? I was a year and a half in saying, wait a minute. We're spending what? We're doing what? This is a problem. I mean, I knew by his reelection that there was something really, really wrong with this scenario. But most people couldn't do it. And that's what brought about the Tea Party. It was the TARP program. Remember, when they came out and said, we got to spend a trillion dollars. And we can't tell you why. We just hope it works.
What are you going to spend? We don't know. It's just got to be a really big number. So it could have been 800 billion? It's got to be a big number. What?
KRIS: The bigger, the better? Oh, yeah.
DOC: And what's going to happen? Global meltdown. How do you know? We don't. We just know if we spend this money if it won't melt down. What are you talking about? Right. And that's when the Tea Party stepped up and certain people saying, we've got to get some Tea Party group in response to this, even though they primarily said it was anti-Obama. He just got more and more people involved in it. But that was the George W. Bush saying I'm a free market guy. I love free market. But we have to do this.
That was basically his quote.
BRAD: The last four years, it was basically a victory lap.
DOC: Right. Exactly. So, yeah, that was not an easy day for me with that one. So then, by the way, I have to go on and do a show. I mean --
KRIS: How did that go?
DOC: It was rough. Here's the thing, when you're on the air, you got to bring it. You've got to have a certain swagger and be bigger than life with this stuff. Well, I just almost got arrested by the Secret Service minutes before. I had no swagger. The swagger, completely gone.
KRIS: They took it away? So they took your manhood?
DOC: They did. I had nothing.
BRAD: It was deflated.
DOC: There was no hubris. No mojo. It was gone.
KRIS: They took your covfefe.
DOC: They did. I was Covfefe less. I was covfefeless that day.
So I get to the first break. And the producers said to me -- and I wear this as a little badge of honor. He goes, I got to tell you, your two predecessors in this time slot, they would have gone home. They would have been home drinking. And I said, I don't know how it went. I said, you know, some day I'll laugh about this. Today is that day.
KRIS: Yes. Today is the day.
DOC: Today is that day. By the way, Brad can you look up statute of limitations?
