GLENN: Stephen Colbert did a rant, I think it was on Monday night, and it was -- it is being even described by Vanity Fair of the most furious rant on Donald Trump yet. John Dickerson went and said that -- was doing an interview and Donald Trump made an insult from John Dickerson from CBS to show class, CBS is called the Tiffany network. I think it was originally owned by Tiffany's. So it was the classy network. And to show how classy, he actually dredges up and starts calling CBS, which nobody even knows anymore, unless you're a, you know, a broadcast history buff, or you work for CBS. Nobody knows they were called the Tiffany network. But to show how classy he's going to be, he starts calling CBS, we have the Tiffany code here, the Tiffany network. And that is if you take on one of ours, you take on all of us. And he goes into this rant. It's not funny. It's not meant to be funny. Maybe somebody wrote it to be funny, but he's delivering it with every bit of venom he has. Here it is.
STEPHEN: Walking out in the middle of a sentence wasn't even the biggest insult to Dickerson.
TRUMP: And, you know, I've been really consistent. It's funny when the fake media goes out, what we call the mainstream media, which sometimes I must say is you.
DICKERSON: Me personally?
TRUMP: Your show. I love your show. I call it Deface the Nation.
STEPHEN: Really? Donald Trump, John Dickerson is a fair-minded journalist and one of the most competent people that will ever walk into your office, and you treat him like that? Now, John Dickerson has way too much did I get to trade insults to the face of the President of the United States. But I, sir, am no John Dickerson.
[cheers and applause]
And when you -- okay. All right. Let me introduce you -- let me introduce you to something we call the Tiffany way. When you insult one member of the CBS family, you insult us all. All right? Here we go. Mr. Trump, your presidency, I love your presidency. I call it disgrace the nation. You're the glutton with a button. You're regular gorge Washington. But you're turning into a real pricktator.
PAT: Oh.
STEPHEN: You attract more STDs than free Rogain. You have more people marching than cancer. You talk like a sign language gorilla who got hit in the head. In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's (bleep) holster.
PAT: These are like your mama jokes.
STEPHEN: Your presidential library is going to be a kids menu on a couple of jugs magazine. The only thing smaller than your hands is your tax returns. Glen.
PAT: No.
STEPHEN: And you can take that any way you want. We have a great show for you tonight.
GLENN: Delivered with anger and vitriol. You can tell Stephen Colbert, as many people do, hate this president. Hate him. When he was first elected and for a long time before he was even running, I took responsibility for the things that I did to half the country and not my half of the country. The other half of the country. I just deemed the other half of the country morons, Marxist, America haters, stupid, whatever it was. That was wrong. That's not who they are.
PAT: Some of them are.
GLENN: Yeah, some of them are. Yes, some are. And some on our side are Nazis. But the vast majority are not. There are the fringes, and there are those who don't like America and those who like America when would like to see it fundamentally transformed into a dictatorship. And I found people on both sides that would like to do that. The point is, since this has started, I have said to the media "You can bash me. I'll take all the bashing you want. Please, please, don't make the same mistake I did because it will end the same way, and it will cause even more division. Stephen Colbert, probably the coldest ice water I could throw over your head to try to wake you up is you have become me, circa 2009. Stop it. Stop it.
Now, let me change -- oh, boy, looking at Pat.
PAT: You were never like that.
GLENN: There were times that I was really mad.
PAT: Never did you ever do these kinds of things, none of us did with Obama. We never called him names like that.
GLENN: I put my face in a bowl of Cheetos on this guy.
PAT: Yes. Big deal.
GLENN: No, it was still, it was...
PAT: Orange face, was it the most stellar by the of all time? Perhaps not.
GLENN: It was probably the worst by the of all time.
PAT: But with Obama, we said he had Marxist policies. We said he grew up with communists. Those were all true things. They weren't insults.
GLENN: But there were times. There were times that it was vitriolic, that it was ... I was so angry.
PAT: Yeah. We were pissed.
GLENN: And there were times like that. And I understand having times like that, and it felt good to have times like that. You can only get punched in the face so many times. It's why England voted for breakfast. Breakfast? Yes. Breakfast. Brexit and why Marine Le Pen is the possible winner of the election because people all over the world are tired of being punched in the face by the elites, by the press, and what you're doing, Stephen Colbert, I know what you're doing. I've been there. And it doesn't work. And the reason why I say the vitriol you feel for me, that's what you're causing on the other side. Half the country disagrees with you. When you're hitting him like that, what do you think the other half is going to do? They're going to run to his defense.
PAT: I would say it's more than half because we're not huge Trump fans but that makes me defensive of him.
GLENN: Yes. Yes.
PAT: Even we get defensive of him when you're doing that to him. It's just ridiculous.
GLENN: The way to win is to not play the game. Donald Trump, look what he did. I felt bad for Dickerson. I stopped thinking about Dickerson, and I stopped thinking about that was a really jerkish move of the president and suddenly as Pat said, I'm looking at you going, if it wasn't Glenn Beck, I would be hating you right now. I feel bad for you right now. What are you doing? You're smarter than this. What are you doing?
If you want to be thought of as the Glenn Beck for half of the country, believe me, it ain't no picnic, Stephen. And we have a country to bring back together. And you might be -- you might be rolling in the press accolades right now. You might be making money. You might think, hey, my career isn't over. But look at how close Jimmy Fallon is. He is in the what? Tens of thousands. He's I believe beating you in the demo. And he's in the tens of thousands now nipping at your heels. You know why? Because this doesn't last. Hatred doesn't last. No one wants to go to bed feeling angry and hatred.
Man, I could feel that all day long. I'm going to get into bed with my wife and turn on the TV and have you pumping my blood so much I'm so angry at the TV? Half the country is going to be so pumped up they'll turn into an Alex Jones. And the other half of the country is so amped up, they want to tear you apart. Tell me, tell me the role that you are playing in the division of the country. I spent four years with people like you asking me. Let me ask you, Stephen Colbert. And I'm going to go a step further. I'll say something that you would have never said to me. I don't want you fired. I don't want you boycotted. I don't have a problem that you are very popular and that you are on CBS every night, and you disagree with many things that I said. I don't mind that you disagree and want to take the nation in a completely different way than I do. I'm not sure that you do. We've never spoken. You would just assume and if I would listen to you, I would just assume that you're crazy. What a stupid thing that is.