What happened this weekend?  Why would I be holding a black umbrella?  Anybody who knows who Neville Chamberlain is, he used to like to hang out with a black umbrella all the time.  What did Neville Chamberlain do?  Oh, nothing, just negotiated peace in his day with Adolf Hitler.

In fact, this is the now suddenly wet copy of his letter to the Hitler youth, signed by Neville Chamberlain, saying you know what, peace in our day, it’s great.  It’s wonderful.  Really?  So who’s the Neville Chamberlain of our day?  Well, somebody that doesn’t understand that negotiation can be tough.  Sometimes you don’t always get what you want, but you know, there’s some sort of compromise involved, unless you’re a dictatorship from Iran, and you’re negotiating with this administration.  Then the world is your oyster, you know?

You get like…it’s like a massive all-expenses-paid shopping spree to the mall of your choice.  Let’s see, I know, I want to be able to keep most of my nuclear infrastructure – check.  I want to be able to continue enriching uranium – check.  I want to have the UN inspectors come in but only on the buildings that I approve – check.  I also am demanding that the economic sanctions are lifted – check.

What exactly did we get?  I mean, the only thing they, you know, didn’t get was explicit permission and blessing to wipe Israel off the map.  Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, there’s another one I forgot to tell you about – really?  Would you be surprised?  One could argue that blowing up Israel is implied in this outcome.

It was a very good deal for Iran.  In fact, Iran loves this deal.  And Iran loves the deal, but so does Syria.  Syria loves this deal.  Who else?  Russia, they love this deal.  Hmm, those seem like the bad guys.

Now, who doesn’t like this deal?  Well, there’s Saudi Arabia and Israel, and well, me.  Netanyahu in fact told his cabinet that what was achieved in Geneva was not a historic agreement but a historic mistake.  Oh, I’m sorry, is somebody talking about Neville Chamberlain again?  The world has become a much more dangerous place, because the most dangerous regime in the world has taken a significant step towards attaining the most dangerous weapons in the world.

Now, what is the upside for the United States of America?  What did John Kerry get us in this deal?  Well, he is kind of like the Lando Calrissian of negotiators.  Remember him?  Where Darth Vader comes in, and he says I’m altering the deal, pray I don’t alter it any further.  Remember that scene?  That’s kind of where we are.

The president spun it this way.  Listen carefully.

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President Obama:  For the first time in nearly a decade, we have halted the progress of the Iranian nuclear program.  The key parts of the program will be rolled back.

Stop, stop, stop.  What his teleprompter is telling him to say – notice he’s carefully reading that.  There’s nobody in the room, and he’s still looking on – anyway, he said we have halted the progress.  I’m sorry, what?  We have halted the progress.  Halted the progress?

So what you’re saying, Mr. President, is a really misleading way to describe that a deal has been struck that allows Iran to continue enriching uranium, and the big accomplishment is that Iran can’t increase the amount of production.  Oh, as if they’re re going to follow that rule if they I’m altering the deal – remember that part?

Iran is giddy over this steel.  The Ayatollah is celebrating a huge victory.  In fact, he said, “The new government was able to legitimize the Iranian nation’s nuclear program on the international stage and take the initial step in a way that the nuclear rights and the enrichment rights of the Iranian nation are acknowledged by world powers which for years had tried to deny it.”  That’s fantastic.  Let’s come back to that, should we?

Iranian negotiators were welcomed home over the weekend as national heroes.  Their currency jumped 3%.  If you want to look at the scoreboard, Iran’s winning, and it’s a landslide.  What does it tell you when the crazy men from Iran are closer to telling people the truth than our own president?

This deal is a dream come true for Iran.  For ten years, the world has been trying to halt their enrichment programs, not to slow down the progress, halt it.  This system allows them to continue now.  The world finally caved.  We blinked.  And what happened in all of those secret meetings that the Obama administration held in the months prior to the deal?

I don’t think we’ve done these secret meetings since 1979 when Jimmy Carter and Mika Brzezinski’s dad – you remember, she’s the one on MSNBC, you know, with the Morning Joe, yeah, her dad and Jimmy Carter were the ones that…yeah, if I remember right, that didn’t work out so well.  I’m just saying, but here we go again.  Gee, it’s almost like we should learn from the past so we don’t continue making the same mistake over and over again.

So what message does this deal send to other unstable nations like North Korea?  Well, stay the course.  There’s lesson number one.  My jaw dropped when I saw the president actually say this:

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President Obama:  We approached these negotiations with a basic understanding, Iran, like any nation should be able to access peaceful nuclear energy.

That is fantastic, isn’t it?  I’m glad we finally have this concession out of the president, because we don’t have the right.  There hasn’t been a new nuclear plant here since 1974 because if we build a new nuclear plant, oh my gosh, the sky will fall.  It’ll be the worst thing ever.  They’re so dangerous.  Wouldn’t it be nice if the president encouraged the increase of nuclear production?

He just says everybody has a right to peaceful nuclear energy, and since, how does he say it, electricity rates have necessarily skyrocketed up 42% in less than a decade, maybe he should get on that nuclear energy bandwagon.  Here’s the other thing, can I ask where are all the environmentalists on the Iran front?

After Fukushima, the world was freaking out about nuclear energy.  You remember?  The death toll from the big fallout is still zero, but Germany and Italy promised to phase out nuclear energy.  Hold on just a second, so the environmentalists are saying that you’re confident that Iran can safely run a nuclear power plant more so than we can?  Suddenly the left is totally cool with nuclear energy?

I mean, why in the world would they trust Iran over Germany, Italy, Japan, and America?  I mean, that’s the logical choice, isn’t it?  This is not a negotiation.  It was never a negotiation.  The administration leaned forward and got railroaded by Iran, and I’m not sure the administration didn’t get everything it wanted.

First of all, it’s off the front page today of people talking about how bad ObamaCare is.

We get nothing, nada, zip, except a crazy nation which is one step closer to obtaining nuclear weapons.