Finally, a true conservative platform, something Republicans can hang their hats on: A government program to guarantee paid leave! And you thought this day would never come.
"If Barack Obama would have proposed this, we all, of course, would have been against that. But today, for some unknown reason, I am so in love with this. I think it might actually save us money. It might actually be the thing that we need to turn this country around. It's about time we have paid medical leave! It's about time!" Glenn said, kicking off his radio program Wednesday morning.
Glenn hasn't been this excited since the 1990s.
Here's a bit of what Ivanka said yesterday about this great, conservative government program:
My father has created a plan that is designed to bring relief and to provide working parents with options so that they can make the decisions that are in the best interests of their families: safe affordable, high-quality child care should not be the luxury of a fortunate few.
"Wow, is that the language of the left," Co-host Pat Gray said, crashing everyone's happy place.
"Language of the left! What are you talking about?" Co-host Stu Burguiere interjected.
"Language of the left! We have been saying this for a long time. We need safe and affordable child care. We not only need paid medical leave, we need the child care. And it needs to be safe, and it needs to be affordable," Glenn said.
Stu added that even though the free market already provides safe and affordable child care, it doesn't go far enough.
"The government should be involved in controlling those costs because this is too important of an issue," Stu added.
Welcome to the new conservatism!
"That's not conservative," Pat said, holding his ground stubbornly.
"Yeah, no, it is. No, it is. No, I've heard . . . traditional families. Kids. Families," Glenn argued.
"You don't care about kids? All of a sudden this guy doesn't care about kids," Stu said.
While traditional conservative principles would hold that parents have responsibility for their children and child care, the new conservatism says it's the government's responsibility.
"Not everyone is some rich person like you, Pat. It's unbelievable. The government needs to step in when the market fails," Stu said.
"Hang on. Let me see if I can speak his language. Pat . . . this is going to save us money," Glenn said.
"In what way?" Pat asked.
Because, duh, maternity leave. All these women that would be going on disability will go instead on free government paid leave so they're saving money and will have extra cash to put into the economy. Plus, stay-at-home moms are also eligible for the free government program, so that's even more money for the economy.
"One of the fastest ways to grow the economy are programs like this, where we give money to people where they can spend it into the economy," Stu said.
"Hello!" Glenn echoed.
The bottom line is we're going to save money, and Trump's new free government program for child care is very conservative. It is not socialism. It is pure capitalism. And Trump is not a socialist. He is a nationalist. He loves America. Yeah, he's a national capitalist. Is there something wrong with that?
Listen to this segment from The Glenn Beck Program:
Featured Image: Republican presidential hopeful Donald J. Trump holds Tristan Murphy, 1, following a campaign event with his daughter, Ivanka, at the Aston Township Community Center on September 13, 2016 in Aston, Pennsylvania. Recent national polls show the presidential race is tightening with two months until the election. (Photo by Mark Makela/Getty Images)